Forget Me NotsA courageous and devoted volunteer at a Children’s Cancer Hospital in the Middle East shares his experience in providing moral support to families and children with cancer.

There is more wisdom in his words than even he realizes.

He carries a deep love and loyalty to his country and his people. His message about reasoning versus violence rings true around the world, not just in his own country. The people of the world are beginning to see how hope, faith and a more positive way of thinking can change our world in ways we never imagined and most important, these ways of being and thinking are crucial to helping children heal, overcome cancer and live much better lives.

At times during the interview, his voice breaks and you can feel his emotion pouring through as he almost begins to cry. I wish you could hear the interview, however he prefers to remain completely anonymous to protect himself and his position at the hospital. At this time, this interview is available in the text format below only.

I hope his message touches you like it did me … very powerful!

After you have listened, please like and share this interview and comment below to share how this interview touched or changed you. If you want more interviews of this nature, let us know by commenting below or sending us a quick email.

 

HIGHLIGHTS

“Our job is to let them forget each day, even for one hour, that they have cancer.”

“If you are going to tell someone, ‘You know what? You are going to die,’ so he will tell you, ‘Okay, I’m going to die.'”

“It is very important that the child doesn’t feel he is surrounded by people who are angry or sad or people who just lost hope, the opposite … the child needs hope.”

“They just need moral support, they need to laugh, they need to talk, they need to hear something new.”

“You are right, you should educate your children, but educate him by reason, not by violence.”

“It is very important to a person to know that it’s not his job that makes him, he makes the job.”

“We should be good people by how we act and what we do in life.”

“The best part is when I feel that I’m giving hope to a child and to his parents.”

“Thank you, you made our son forget about his cancer and now he is much better, I am much better, my wife is much better.”

In one word, how can a person heal? “To give them hope, to make them feel like continuing healing.”

 

INTERVIEW

“As a volunteer my job is to give moral support to the children with cancer  and to their parents. Since 2010 I have been volunteering and go twice a week to the centre.

Our job is to let them forget each day, even for one hour, that they have cancer and to let them have hope and to boost them to fight cancer and to tell them that the future is in front of us and they have all of the time to do whatever they want to do and they will do it even better than before.

Our role is to give them moral support and show them that life is going on and that they are going to win their fight with cancer because if you are going to tell someone, “You know what, you are going to die,” so he will tell you, “Okay, so I’m going to die.”

So here, our role is to make the children, in this very hard time, feel happy. Sometimes some parents say in front of their children that they are going to die, or they are not going to make it, or they simply cry in front of their children. Especially when they know that their children have cancer.

So here our job is also to tell parents that it is their right to be angry, it is their right to be furious, but they should for the sake of their children, they should be strong enough and to show them, ‘No my son you are not going to die, you are going to make it and I am here and I have full belief in you.’

When they need to cry they just need to do it in a place where their children don’t see that. Sometimes the parents might be affected and if they are, it will affect the moral of the child so the child will say, “I’m not going to make it definitely.” Why is my mother crying always, why is my father feeling so bad. In front of their children the mother and father should be, I would not say the word happy, but they should be strong and show their children that life is going on. They should smile a little.

It’s very important when we talk to the parents we talk to them mainly about their job, about what they do, about the situation in the country, you know about what they are involved in. It’s not easy for parents, or for a mother to know that her son or her daughter is having cancer.

Unfortunately if someone dies, the parents will say, “If this boy or girl passed, so the next one will be my daughter.” Here our role is to tell them, “No, you don’t have to think like that and you don’t have to talk like that, especially in front of the kids.”

Now there are parents who do that in front of little boys or little girls that are between one month to seven years, and they think that the children don’t understand. In my own opinion I think the opposite. They do understand. For instance a little girl who is better now, when the parents were you know, their faces and eyes were sad and the mother was very angry and the girl was crying, always. After giving moral support to the parents and asking them to be more cool in front of their girl, she was better, she stopped crying, she began to talk with her mother, with me and she made some friends in the centre. She asked for cartoons and I brought her some dvd’s of cartoons and now you know, she is better.

It is very important to give hope to the child and it is very important that the child doesn’t feel that he is surrounded by people who are angry or sad or people who just lost hope. It’s the opposite. The child needs hope. I know it is not easy what I am saying. It’s very difficult but this is why I do this and to date I think I made many children happy and many parents also happy and when they see me in the centre, I see many parents coming to me and telling me about their children and their life. We talk normally. Let them forget about these hard times, they just need moral support, they need to laugh, they need to talk, they need to hear something new. The teenager needs to talk about movies, about life, about school, about what they do with their friends.

When we are talking about children with cancer, they are weaker than children that don’t have cancer, because you know they’ve had surgery and they have chemo and everything is new, so he knows that something wrong is happening to him. If he feels that his parents are angry or sad, they don’t have hope, they are crying, so it will affect him negatively. If the child feels the opposite, that life is going on, even the cancer, even everything, he is going to say, “I am going to try to make it,” and when he tries to make it, he can make it and get over the cancer.

There was a child who won his fight on cancer and he is very well now. This child was not a kind child. He used to argue with his mother and everyone who comes, he used to argue and not to be very friendly. I heard his mother crying on him and telling him that he had been impolite with his aunt who is a nun. They beat him a little. I told her, “Mam, beating your child is not a good idea,” because you might hurt him and here I began to talk to the child and I took him to the play room. We played many games and there is card game called Unoo. They really like this game, especially the children who are seven and eight. So we played many times and this child has calmed down and he liked me and we became very good friends. At the same time, I became friends also with the mother because when I was helping the child, I was helping at the same time, the mother. I was giving the mother parent rest and to renew her energy.

Firstly he was a little bit stubborn but after when I used to talk to him and explain to him he used to accept my advice and be a little bit more quiet and more polite with his mother. Then I talked to the mother, I told her, you are right you want to educate your children, you are right, you should do it, but educate him by reason, not by violence, not by using violence, by using the reason. She did so and now the child is much better, he won his fight on cancer. He was in a school, he didn’t like it and he couldn’t continue so his mother changed the school, he is at a new school and he is very much better and has good grades. When I saw him last month, because he doesn’t come anymore to the hospital, I go to his home to visit him. I saw him and he was much, much better. I was very happy that he was much, much better. He was quiet and we played Unoo at his home and he talked to me about his new school, his grades, his new friends.

I was very happy to see that I could help this mother and this child.

I have a new approach in life. I am more positive than I was before. I see things differently now. Here we have some people who don’t care about this problem and they care much about having a brand new car, having a brand new watch and having the new iPhone. These people cannot understand what I am saying. For these people it’s the car that makes them, the iPhone makes them and the new watch makes them. What I am saying in having faith and hope and continuing in improving in life is, it is very important for a person to know that not his job makes him, he makes the job. We should continue trying to improve but not letting things and cars and showing off, we should be good people by how we act and what we do in life. Everyone wants to improve, everyone needs to change their car, everyone needs to buy a watch or to change his cell phone or to have a new laptop. This is normal, but what is not normal is when the laptop is a priority, the car is a priority, for a person and here I can add in my country, nowadays we have a lot of problems of people who get divorced because simply they married the car and not the value of the person.

This experience is very positive because it taught me many new things in my life. The best part is when I feel I’m giving hope to a child and to his parents. When I really feel that they are really happy when I am with them and they are having hope and they change from a negative way of thinking to a positive way of thinking. I am very happy when I see both parents and children coming to me and hugging me and telling me, “Thank you, you made our son forget about his cancer and now he is much better, I am much better, my wife is much better and now things are better at home than when we discovered our son had cancer.”

The hard part in this job is when a child passes and you feel you lost a friend. The harder part is as a volunteer I know that the child is not going to make it but even so I continue to talk to him or her like if they are going to make it. This is the hard, hard part.

I give them hope to make them feel like continuing to heal. I feel very happy to give hope to the parents and to the children and I think that here in my country, we need more and more centres like this and we need more people who can give hope to the children, maybe some people who can advise the parents on how to deal with their children, even if they don’t have cancer.

Some parents here sometimes use violence to educate their children and this is bad. I don’t think this is a good way. It’s an old way and it proved that it didn’t work. When we look back to the old generation we see some of the problem.

I believe parents should educate their children. They should teach their children about happiness and sadness and good and bad things. Most important they should teach those things by logic, not by using violence, not by hitting them.

The punishment is important but you cannot hit a child or cry on a child. There are other ways which are much better and which make a child a much better person in the future. When you talk to a child with logic and you explain to him, he accepts more than when you hit him. He changes, like the example of the child who made it and won his war on cancer, when they changed the way of talking to him, when they changed his school, he is much better now. He is polite, he is more kind. He is more kind even with his mother and his brother and it was only the way of talking to him.

I am very proud of that because it works.”

Anonymous Children’s Cancer Hospital Volunteer