“I joyfully sent yet another story of healing from advanced cervical cancer naturally. Everyone’s journey is perfectly unique. My healing was not nested in the physical things I did; it blossomed from a surrender and a commitment to love myself with the time I thought remained. To anyone reading this with cancer, cancer is an experience and a teacher, if you allow it to be. I am grateful for my experience and the chance to really LIVE my life. ANYONE has the potential to heal. If I could heal with limited resources living the oft chaotic life of a single mother of four children…….so can you! They said it couldn’t be done until the fool who didn’t know it couldn’t be done came along and did it. I am, with the utmost gratitude for my life that ‘fool.’
I did not climb a mountain or find a secluded months-long retreat. I did not learn Yoga or wear a turban. I did not chant a mantra or meet with a passel of healers. I simply had no time for these valuable but elusive tools. I am not wealthy nor have I been a perfect wife, mother or even person. I however have healed from advanced cervical cancer naturally. I healed in the context of a busy often chaotic everyday life of a single mom with four kids. Even better, I had a baby at 43 years of age, four years after a diagnosis of advanced cervical cancer. If one person can do this, the portal to all possibilities has opened. Read ON!
Everyone has a purpose in life. I had been given the gift of finding mine behind the veil of cancer. One of the many qualities I was born with was a rebellious spirit that questioned everything. While it was this same spirit that allowed me to find the courage to heal, unbridled, it created in its ignorance; core resistance to everything, a resistance to the flow of life. My second chance, this gift of life, in which I have found the ability to recognize my true self, I have discovered that life stretches well beyond the world as we see it. I have learned through this experience that life exists in the form of possibility. This unseen remains independent of the many hard and fast rules and limited scope of understanding we believe constrain our physical selves. We are not stranded in what we grudgingly accept as the conditions of our lives. This is my new story.
At the age of 37, determination had given me the family I desired, the career I worked for and the external things that I placed my attention upon. Having “all that” was not what it seemed to be. Unhappy with myself and not surprisingly in my marriage, disappointment and stress ruled the day. After a long hard battle in the divorce courts, I felt I’d won some freedom. Not so, freedom was not external and a sudden diagnosis of cancer would become my new containment.
Like anyone else who’s just been told they have cancer, I went into total panic. Now a single mom, in a new town with no job and four small children I lamented over how I would ever take time off to recuperate from radical surgery and possibly radiation? I had just fought the battle of my life and wasn’t ready for another. Looking into the eyes of my small children and seeing their love, somehow I knew I could be there for them, whole and complete, all of me. Because of my work with the brain and body connection, I knew too, that mental healing worked, and here I was being given a chance to make a choice to become this healing. After all, I’d teach clients about mental patterns, and I believed that my cancer was a dis-ease of emotion and pain that had been held for a long time until it literally ate away at my body. I had been choosing to ignore the resentment and pain held for “them” from childhood through adulthood. This was my last chance.
The word invasive, and imminent death without surgery and chemo which is so frightening to many people, was explained to me as such, that this particular condition could only be cured by outer means. Those means, however vain, were to me far more frightening than death. I understood where I had come from emotionally and I understood what I had created in my body. I believed that if I just cut out what was making me ill my body would re-create it somewhere else until there was nothing left to cut.
I immediately took responsibility for my own physical healing. In keeping with my rebellious spirit, I read and investigated everything I could find on alternative ways to assist my healing process. I went to several health-food stores and bought every book they had on the subject of cancer. I went to the Internet and did more reading. I seemed to be led to exactly the right people for just the right body therapies. I went on a total body cleanse and supported my physical self with healing foods and supplements. After spending three years believing I had this thing licked I used what was left on my line of credit and flew to UCLA ( from Canada where they are not available for this) for a PET/CT scan to show all of “them” what miracles I had created. Not so. I was told there at UCLA that the cancer, albeit slowly over three years, had spread to my right lymph node chain and that I needed to get my affairs in order and book my surgery that week if I had any chance at all. All that outside “stuff” I had done in the alternative world had not been enough.
Humbled and distraught I surrendered to the notion that my life was going to be short. In this surrender I promised my children silently that they would know only a happy “me” in the time left and that I would not fear again. I made amends with my mother, old friends and perceived enemies. I became grateful for every moment with my children and for everyday of feeling pain free and whole. I let go of expectations and definition of failure. I listened to my heart as I figured my logical self had already had its chance. I continued to study, meditate and connect with nature. I found the things I loved to do and did them. Eventually life seemed to flow and things came easier, my pain subsided and symptoms faded. I began to see myself as a lovable person through the eyes of good friends, family and my children. Days passed, weeks passed, I found a new relationship. Being this person had its perks, I didn’t fear or worry figuring I had nothing to lose. Time passed and in 2006 I discovered the impossible, I was pregnant! In April 2007 I gave birth to a healthy baby boy at the age of 43.
People began to call me to ask for my help with their illness. I found myself coaching daily and those individuals were finding their own healing. I began to run seminars and classes and to employ my skill as a cognitive communication therapist to guide others in understanding their role in the creation of their own well being. I began to “be and do” everything that felt good. I found my purpose.
While my story may be absolute in my refusal to adopt conventional methods of cancer therapy it does not mean that one cannot heal with both conventional and alternative. This form of radical stepping out is not for everyone and I am grateful for all the medical advice along the way. The most important change in this process was not all the outside things I had done to heal, it was the looking inside and the letting go of fear, surrendering to what is in this moment. Surrender does NOT mean giving up, it means accepting this moment and creating the action plan for change. Taking responsibility for yourself, taking your power back and placing it squarely in your charge takes courage and faith in ones self. We are all responsible for our own healing.
I have learned that anything is possible. I knew I had to clear the patterns of resentment and fear that I’d been holding since childhood. It was imperative for me to let go of the blame, anger and shame. I have learned that forgiveness; gratitude, non-judgment and learning how to love and trust your self are key aspects to healing ones life and physical body. I have learned that ANYONE who is willing to heal and to put in the effort; can heal. I have learned that not all healing is physical and that a miracle can be a change in perception. I did not have to take years of yoga or wear a white cloak and turban on a mountaintop or sit in solitude for weeks on end. This change is possible in the context of the real world right where you are, as you are, one step at a time.
As of my last MRI and biopsy, I no longer have cancer! Now I am able to affirm from personal experience that dis-ease can be healed if we are willing to change the way we think, believe, and act! What might have seemed a tragedy named cancer gave me the courage and the reason to change. I value my life and myself in a new way. While far from perfect, I perceive life to be an amazing journey of learning and transformation. This gift of flow is available to everyone who wishes to accept it. Please give yourself this gift of love. Healing is possible!”
Donna Lee Zmenak